After the Get Our Facebook To a 100 Likes contest we have our winner Wes Corwin on the podcast. We talk about the make a wish foundation, Kenny blankeship, and Donald Trump. We also have another special guest in the form of the recently reanimated Charleston Heaston. Enjoy What We Doiacs.
Cody, Joe, and special guest Jimmy Jam ring in the New Year on this week's episode. We talk about Jimmy Jam recent trip to Dallas. Cody learns about the dark side of the internet. Then Jimmy Jam is easily distracted by other things when Cody talks about his cyber stalking co-worker. Joe talks about having some nice regular style sex.
My Cordial Apology For Missing Out On Thursday Nights Episode
Or
The Case of The Great Space Lobster
It is with a heavy heart that I regret to inform you that I, Taurean Tomlin, will not be on the latest episode of What We Do Radio, hopefully titled “Gay Bash.” While I am just one man, believe you me, I tried everything in my power to be there. Everything, from baking some kind of pastry to sitting in my room playing videogames, it just didn’t work. Perhaps I think this is the last thing I’ll ever write, perhaps I know. No matter what, I have to tell the world my story. So that one day, after all the darkness, after all the hate, we can survive, we can thrive, we could even DIE ANOTHER DA…wait, that’s copyrighted. We could umm, something with the word “die” in it. I don’t know, just something that sounds cool. Wait! I got it. We could GoldenEye…I’ll get back to this part.
This world, our world, it spun slowly, gaining momentum, faster and faster, moving closing to the line of no return. This Friday, we’ve finally reached the precipice. The Mayans predicted it, oh so long ago. Their mighty leader, The Great Lord Tuck, took it upon himself to save his people, to save us. He tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, Mike Shinoda still can’t rap, a sure sign of our upcoming doom. That’s where I come in. While training Mr. Shinoda for an epic freestyle showdown with Limp Bizkit front man Fred Dursts is also the key to saving our world from great destruction, that’s a prophecy for another day. August 2013, we’ll do it all for the nookie. But as for now, friends, listeners, potential employers who have stumbled upon this during some kind of invasive background, I find myself headed to center, the place where all things began, the place where they shall end, South America, or as Einstein once put it, “Spic World.” Don’t yell at me, he’s the one who said it, I’m pretty sure he was German, which means Nazi. You know how they are.
While I can’t tell you my exact plans for saving the world, rest assured it will certainly involve an extended sword to fist, then fist to fist battle against a hulking 6 and a half foot, Russian, monster of a man with steel plated teeth, on a tall yet flimsy structure overlooking the bright streets of a world gone mad. When you think about it, really…that’s just how I roll. How will I initially lose my sword? I don’t know. Perhaps I’ll get it knocked out of my hand after a particularly vicious gut punch. Perhaps I’ll realize sensei was right all along, all I really need to win the battle is my brain and a serrated knife I bought off the home shopping network one fateful morning. It may not be able to cut through a 3 inch can as the commercial advertised, but I don’t really think the sharpness matters when you’re gouging someone’s eyes out. Just take heart, listeners, no matter what happens, it will certainly end with a flying pheasant kick, the likes of which even Bruce Lee has never known. As for you Kroonk, heed my warning, the last page of the prophecy dies with me or to quote Albert Einstein, “There’s nothing I trust less in this world than a Russian, well besides a no good, drunk, Native American, but that’s beside the point. You like how I said that all politically correct? Yeah, I do too.”
You may be asking me, and subsequently yourself, “Why do this alone? Certainly your closest allies, the crew of What We Do Radio would assist you.” You would be correct, but this isn’t their battle to face. They have their trials, their tribulations, but hopefully when this is over, we’ll meet again. The impeccable Cody Greenlee, a man of charm and substance; yet, also a man with demons. He must take this time, as we teeter ever so close towards the edge, to find himself, a spiritual journey of sorts. Now is his time to become one, and just like him, I fear this may be his only chance. I can’t deprive him of that. As for Joe Bates, well, Joe Bates is a racist and I wouldn’t feel safe trying to hire a taxi in South America with him by my side. I suspect he would quote Einstein a lot. Like A LOT A LOT. He may also be German. And as for Jason, well…he was on like five episodes, let it go.
So this Friday, as you party like it’s 1999 one last time. Just take some time to think of me, your favorite What We Do Radio personality. As you take jello shots, take some time to imagine me, sprinting through the ruins of an ancient Mayan Temple. As you hit on that overweight chick, because after like 30 jello shots, you could manage that, take some time out to think of me, in a battle of words with the insidious egg head, Dr Jahvago, played by Cillian Murphy. His rapier wit matched only by the rapier swords he chooses to dual wield in this time of crisis. As that hefty bag of a woman forces vodka shooters down your mouth at a dangerous rate, pray for me, as I’m forced to fight the reanimated spirit of The Great Lord Tuck, in the final battle. When the clock strikes 11:59, wish, dream, hope, just send me the last of the strength needed to crawl up the altar steps and release the last of my blood, my life essence. As I lay dying, under a red moon, a final sacrifice, and lightning strikes my body, supercharging me and the earth, shielding us all from the cosmic rays sent from the heavens to destroy us, I’ll say “you’re welcome.” And as you wake up, at 8 in the morning on Saturday, with what looks to be some kind of bovine on top of you, all dignity lost, and the words “dickhead” written on your face with permanent marker, you’ll say… “Thank you.”
-To all our loyal listeners and Talent Scout Robot
From Taurean Tomlin
“Niggers”- Albert Einstein
Today the gangs discusses what they are thankful for. Then it's a big ol' hug fest for 30 minutes. Hugs are great for audio btw.
We are back with a vengince friends and enemies alike. This episode is a bit old but we talk about so many funny things everyone just had to hear it. We are sorry you missed us but here we are in all our beautiful glory.
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